Catching up

The last two weeks have kind of gone by in a blur. Two weeks ago today, my Mom called me and told me Grandma had died. I still get teary and am still completely sad.

I flew out to Minnesota to attend the wake and funeral and stay a couple extra days to help. It was a weird flight and drive home. I flew with Maya and my brother. It wasn't like we were crying the entire trip, I think it was that we were both just dreading what we were flying home for. I left Hayden home with my Mom-in-law so he could still go to preschool. He had such a fun week planned, that I figured it would be better for him to just stay. Buddy had been planning a big hunting trip for like a year and had put so much time and money into it, Grandma would have wanted him to go. My Sis-in-law was flying out the next day. So, that's why just the three of us.

We arrived on Monday and went straight to Grandma's apartment. Mom was there, and the second we hugged, I lost it. In a way I was happy that Grandma wasn't still living at home. I didn't have as many memories attached to her in the apartment, so it was easier to walk around there and not break down.

Tuesday was the wake and I think it was actually a good one. The great-grandkids were running around, laughing, making noise and having a blast. They were told to quiet down a few times, but we all kind of realized that Grandma would love the noise! And they played freely.

(Maya and I either before or after the wake, I can't remember.)

Wednesday, the funeral, went well and was an emotional day. It's hard to remember things from the day. Afterwards, the family met up at my parents house and reminissed, talked and enjoyed the time together. It's been a really long time since we have all been under one roof together.

Thursday was a day of cleaning out the rest of Grandma's stuff from her place. It was rainy, dreary and chilly. I didn't mind though. We don't get those days here in Arizona. However, with the rain again on Friday, came snow. That, I don't miss. Not in October anyway.

I wanted to get back home on Saturday so I could be home to take Hayden and Maya trick-or-treating. I think I should have stayed in Minnesota. Halloween was a bust. Maya, loved her costume and was the cutest flower. She ended up falling out of her stroller and kissing the pavement causing a nice scratch on her nose and a bruise on her forehead. But, she kept on. Hayden is another story. I was so excited to take him since last year he had ran up to every house, knocked, said trick-or-treat and came home with a bucketload. This year, not so much. He HATED his costume, CRIED all the way to his teacher's house and cried all the way back. I was just so mad and already a basketcase emotionally, that I did not accept this well. Lots of yelling, threats and hands flailing were done by me. I realize I could have handled the situation better, but, at the time, I was just exhausted.

(the best I got of the two of them together)

One house was all we went to. I look at the bright side as this: we hardly have any candy that I would end up eating!

This week has gone by in a blur. I was extremely lazy. My mom-in-law, thank the Lord, stayed until Wednesday. I'm still tired, but am moving more. I still find myself zoning out and thinking of my Grandma. I have yet to completely unpack my suitcase, it's still on my bathroom floor wide open with only a few things in it.

This loss is going to take awhile to fade. I have three boxes of her things being shipped as I type. Opening them will be emotional. I'll make sure to have the Kleenex box prepared.