Somewhat Merry Christmas

I felt a bit sad this Christmas. It was our first Christmas that we stayed home in Arizona and didn't fly home to Minnesota. Yes, I said home twice for two different things, but Minnesota will always be home to me. Arizona is where we live and each year is beginning to feel more like home. See what I mean? Buddy didn't have any vacation left from work, so the hard decision was made to stay put. It is very hard for me to get into the Christmas spirit when then air isn't freezing cold, white doesn't blanket the ground and we don't have to bundle up before setting foot outside. The house is decorated because I really enjoy that part of the process. At night it does feel more festive because of the tree and banister and other spots are lit up. Still, it's hard being away from home.

Christmas Eve day, we spent outside in the front yard cleaning up the yard, trimming the trees. After getting all dressed and ready for church, we headed out. Now, Christmas Eve is always the one day of the year I do feel like I should be in church. I love to sing along, listen to the prayers, watch all the little ones in their dressed up cuteness and reflect on the year past. So, I was looking forward to going to a church where I hadn't been to Christmas mass before. Well, the place was beyond packed, bursting out the doors; people standing in every nook and cranny. We tried to settle into the crying room, but once in had to stand in the back against the wall and couldn't even see the alter. There was no way we'd be able to even somewhat enjoy the service standing with both kids, so we left. Oh, we weren't the only ones heading to our car, there were quite a few who had the idea too.

Once home, we let the kids open one gift they had gotten from some friends and luckily they were toys that kept them busy until dinner. Dinner came and went and onto gifts from ourselves to ourselves. Hayden was in heaven with his loot, Maya still has that unsure thing going on about opening gifts. She likes to rip the paper, but doesn't quite get that there is something underneath it. All in all, we had fun, enjoyed our little family and called it a night by placing cookies out for Santa, sprinkling the reindeer food on the front yard and heading to bed.

Christmas morning was a thrill with both kids getting a new four-wheeler/quad. Hayden's is still a smidge big, but he's a growing boy! Maya LOVES hers and knows to push the button to get it going. We opened gifts from Buddy's side of the family and had a low key day of relaxing, playing with the new toys and eating.

It was a good Christmas looking over the last two days. I did find myself reminiscing in my head of Christmases past. Ones from years and years ago as well as the more recent ones of our little family. I found myself getting teary thinking of Christmases with my Grandparents. I remembered where the trees were, piles of gifts, the food, cookies and all the family. I missed seeing my nephews and nieces open our gifts to them and the caos that comes it.

It wasn't the first year I spent the holidays away from home, it was the second. But it was the first one my parents didn't have the grandkids around. Luckily, thanks to the Minnesota Gophers, they are coming down tomorrow for a week and that alone has made being without close family here at Christmas easier. We will be able to celebrate with them and my brother and sis-in-law even though it's a few days late.

I hope everyone did have a wonderful holiday whether you were snowed in, without family or with all of your loved ones. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Is it tomorrow yet?

The morning started out crappy, got horrid, got better, got horrid again, went back to crap and then things calmed.
The day for me started good. Up to a hot pot of coffee, let the dog out of her kennel and enjoyed the coffee, news and computer time. And then I went to wake up Hayden for school.
His preschool time has switched from 8:30 to 8 now. Long story and hoping I don't ever have to tell it because my fingers are crossed that it will go back to 8:30. Anyway, went to wake him up. Got his clothes out and told him to get dressed. It's 7:28 (or so). By 7:45, he is NOT completely dressed, he's complaining about his shirt and is just being a putz. I have myself and Maya dressed and almost ready by this time. We head downstairs with Hayden complaining still, but wanting to finish getting dressed downstairs.
I look in the living room to see a massive wet spot on the carpet where the da*# dog has decided to piss. She had been trained, but that's another story I don't have time for. The point is, I am so fricking sick of cleaning up dog pee.
Hayden is whining, I am livid and soaking two towels with dog wiz and it's 7:53 am. I still have to get shoes onto 6 feet and do H's hair. His undershirt is backwards which requires removing the shirt we have fought over, turning around the other, putting on the outer and buttoning it. Which, by the way, just about starts another whine session because HE wants to button. But, luckily I convinced him that that will take tooooo long.
Luckily, the preschool is literally 2 minutes away, so we are out the door at 7:59. But, have to put Maya in her carseat, which isn't always easy. Got to school and get a whine session about how we forgot to get his sweatshirt! What?! When did this come up? I tell his teacher I am praying and have my fingers crossed that the time will get switched back to 8:30. :)
I get home, have to get Maya breakfast and myself breakfast and shampoo the carpet because there is no way I am going to spot treat that lake!! I have to clean up toys, move furniture and vaccuum before I can consider shampooing. Can't just shampoo the one area, might as well do the whole dang room. This is all completed by 8:35 because I still need to get to the gym which I am not going to miss cuz I need to get some frustration OUT!
The rest of the morning and the afternoon goes without incident. Get Hayden from school and he has a WONDERFUL ornament he made to go on the tree. Pretty much made the morning's antics disappear. Both kids get fed, the dog is let outside to run off some steam and then naptime comes. Aaahhh. Hayden vegged on a Mickey Mouse Christmas movie and I relaxed a bit. We even went to the park to have some fun outdoor time.
Then comes dinnertime. Buddy's home, I start the chopping and Maya moves in on me screaming her head off because it's "feed me time". Buddy gets her involved in something. The dog is out enjoying the family. Somehow everyone is in the kitchen checking out what I am making. I am trying a new recipe using some leftover turkey from a couple nights ago. Then, for some reason, the dog gets scared over something and pees on the tile. Buddy catches her, doesn't yell at her, just gets her to stop and tells her to go outside. She comes over by me, Buddy approaches and she starts peeing AGAIN! Buddy gets a little madder and says no, she moves, pees again. Buddy picks her up, she continues peeing and he lifts her over the COUNTER, SHE's STILL PEEING!!!
Dinner is literally thrown down the drain and we had to order takeout.
Onto after dinner... I'll be quick, I see this is a long one. Takeout was Chinese. Maya got a hold of Hayden's sweet and sour sauce, dumped it on the fabric kitchen chair and floor. My day pretty much started and ended using the carpet shampooer. It's starting to be one of the best purchases, ever.
I'm on glass of wine number 2.

A Sticker a Day?

We are trying something with Hayden. He's been such a little you know what, that we figured a threat may be just the thing to get his butt in gear. What?! That sweet little face is a little pain in the rear?! Yes, it is.

Hayden isn't always bad, he can be a sweetheart, great helper and just a wonderful little boy, but right now, the bad is outweighing the good. Unfortunately. So, I thought of a little calendar and sticker idea with the idea of this: Every day Hayden is good, doesn't excessively whine, eats well, cleans up, gets dressed without a fuss, bathes without a breakdown, etc, he gets to put a sticker on a calendar before he goes to bed. If there has been too much yelling, threatening, and disciplining on mine or Buddy's part...you got it, no sticker.

It's pretty amazing that a little piece of paper with a sticky side to it could make all the difference in the actions of a 4 year old. We started this on the 4th of this month, today is the 10th, it's been 7 days. So far, 5 stickers. Yesterday, he lost it before noon and he had preschool in the morning. I was with him a total of an hour and a half and he lost it. He was really bummed about that this morning and today has been a better day.

I think it's working. Our threat for this month is pretty simple and I think that's why it's working. I won't divulge, cuz some may think it's pretty harsh. But, since it's our kid and we are the ones who have to put up with him, we're sticking to our guns. Yes, it does have to do with what he may or may not receive for Christmas. I'll leave it at that. Sorry.

We are going to keep it up through the months. Hayden seems to like the idea of doing something special at the end of the day and he does have to earn it. Keeping fingers crossed that this is the making of an even greater kid.

From Bad to Much Better

Yesterday was a day from hell. I was a cheerleader in high school and I don't remember yelling that much in one game than I did the whole day. Both kids for some reason decided to channel the devil and act like complete hellions. Hayden simply was a snot; back talking, making a mess, whining non-stop, just simply being a brat. Maya only took a 1 1/2 hour nap, cried waaaayyy too much, kept getting in front of me in order to try and be held, and pulled a sassy attitude. I didn't think a 16 month old could have an attitude, but she can.

To top off the day, Buddy didn't get home until 6 when he's usually home around 4. Those extra two hours kicked my ass. But, once he was home, things cooled off slightly. At least made it so I could clean the kitchen and get some laundry done.

Of course I was unable to fall asleep. I was still up at 10:30 when Maya started to cough, bad. Usually she just falls back asleep, but this time she didn't. She didn't start crying, but I could tell she was not happy. I went to her room and tried to get her to fall back asleep. She was really stuffed up and with a NUK, that doesn't work. I got my Eucalyptus Scentsy and plug-in warmer to see if that would clear her up. (It really does work!) It worked for about 15 minutes. She coughed again and had it with her bed.

Maya isn't a cuddler. Major bummer as a Mom. But, when I got her out, she just hugged onto me like she was saying, "Thank you Mommy. I just want to be by you." Talk about melting my heart! Especially after the day we had. I grabbed her blanket and bear, the Scentsy plug-in and headed to my room.

I put her down, turned on the TV, plugged in the warmer and joined her. She looked at me like she was saying Thank You. I laid by her on my side, she got squirmy and I thought, "oh crap, she thinks we're going to play." Nope, she just moved over closer to me, laid on her side, cuddled in and we, for lack of a better word, spooned.

We laid like that for awhile, watching an NCIS rerun. This made my day so much better. All the crap that happened through the day just melted away. It was so good to just lay there with her, snuggled up with the scent of Eucalyptus filling the air. Aaahhhhh.

She had no fever, just stuffiness and cough. I've got the same problem at night. We're just both getting over the same crud.

Fingers crossed for a good day today...

Thanksgiving week...

This week always goes entirely too fast. My parents have been coming down to visit this week for the last several years. They get here on the Saturday before Thanksgiving and leave the Saturday after. They left today.
We cram in visiting my brother's house, shopping, playtime with kids, shopping, outings, eating and shopping into one week and it's never long enough. There is always great anticipation by Hayden and then he can't get enough of Grandma and Grandpa. Maya was all over them this year! I think they both memorized her books in the week they were here.
This is a short post, I am tired from a day of decorating and sewing and have a crappy cold. I always, always enjoy my time spent with my parents. But, it is always so dang hard when they have to leave. I can't hold back tears, I can't hide my sadness. It really sucks living so far away from my family.
There, that's it. That's pretty much the reason for the post. I don't have pictures to share. I always seem to forget the camera when they are here, just too much to do.
I'm just really sad to be so far away from 'home'.

Hayden vs. Maya

I don't know if it's a girl/boy thing or just the difference in two different kids. Since they are my own, I thought they'd have some similarities; I'm still looking for them!


Hayden: Tried a few times to open cupboards and then realized he couldn't get in, so he left them alone. I do have a couple that are child okay for fun. :)
Maya: She figured out out to open the child-proof cupboards. You know, the ones with the little white lever thing?

Hayden: We didn't have a dog, but had a cat. Never went to the bowl to empty or eat.
Maya: Into the dog dish, all the time. She starting to veer away when we catch her starting, but she still darts for it.

Hayden: Bathtub... We had the bathseat that hooks onto the edge of the tub and swivels. Never attempted to get out until he was almost a year and half and by then he was fine to be out.
Maya: She figured out really early on how to stand up, at about 11 months. We've since taken the seat out and let her move around.

Hayden: Has yet to break a dish, just broke a porcelain cat I had on a low shelf as a crawler. My fault, not his.
Maya: Has already broken two dishes. One corningware dish which I am now down to only one (thanks to myself and my mom) (see above about child-proof cupboards) and Saturday she pulled off a placemat from the table with a plate already on it. Scared the crap out of her!! Maybe that will deter her...

Hayden: STILL wants to just ride in the stroller. He would go for hours as a little guy in the mall. As long as it was moving, he was good.
Maya: HATES being in the stroller for too long. This was apparent at only a few weeks old. She wanted to be held so she could see out. Now, she wants to stand up in the stroller or walk.

Hayden: We never strapped the kid in the highchair. Okay, we did when we first got it, but then realized it was a pain and he would just put his arms up when he wanted out. He sat, ate and waited basically
Maya: Has figured out how to stand up in the high chair and will do so within minutes and now has to be strapped in.

Hayden: Is a bit of a picky eater.
Maya: Tries anything to eat and usually eats anything.

Hayden: Cars
Maya: Purses

Hayden: Wasn't really a climber. He got the stairs and those had the gate, so it was no biggy. He figured out how to get on the coffee table, but the fun wore off quickly. He didn't climb onto stuff to get stuff, just pointed and looked for someone to get it.
Maya: Moves tubs, chairs and whatever so she can climb onto anything. Figured out up and down the stairs too fast. Will attempt stacked tubs to get to the top if available.

Hayden: Napped twice a day no matter what.
Maya: If she takes a morning nap it HAS TO BE 30 minutes or less or there is no afternoon nap.

Hayden: Bald, then straight locks at nine months.
Maya: Full head of hair. Then, at nine months, spiral curls.

Both: FREAKING ADORABLE!!! :)

Catching up

The last two weeks have kind of gone by in a blur. Two weeks ago today, my Mom called me and told me Grandma had died. I still get teary and am still completely sad.

I flew out to Minnesota to attend the wake and funeral and stay a couple extra days to help. It was a weird flight and drive home. I flew with Maya and my brother. It wasn't like we were crying the entire trip, I think it was that we were both just dreading what we were flying home for. I left Hayden home with my Mom-in-law so he could still go to preschool. He had such a fun week planned, that I figured it would be better for him to just stay. Buddy had been planning a big hunting trip for like a year and had put so much time and money into it, Grandma would have wanted him to go. My Sis-in-law was flying out the next day. So, that's why just the three of us.

We arrived on Monday and went straight to Grandma's apartment. Mom was there, and the second we hugged, I lost it. In a way I was happy that Grandma wasn't still living at home. I didn't have as many memories attached to her in the apartment, so it was easier to walk around there and not break down.

Tuesday was the wake and I think it was actually a good one. The great-grandkids were running around, laughing, making noise and having a blast. They were told to quiet down a few times, but we all kind of realized that Grandma would love the noise! And they played freely.

(Maya and I either before or after the wake, I can't remember.)

Wednesday, the funeral, went well and was an emotional day. It's hard to remember things from the day. Afterwards, the family met up at my parents house and reminissed, talked and enjoyed the time together. It's been a really long time since we have all been under one roof together.

Thursday was a day of cleaning out the rest of Grandma's stuff from her place. It was rainy, dreary and chilly. I didn't mind though. We don't get those days here in Arizona. However, with the rain again on Friday, came snow. That, I don't miss. Not in October anyway.

I wanted to get back home on Saturday so I could be home to take Hayden and Maya trick-or-treating. I think I should have stayed in Minnesota. Halloween was a bust. Maya, loved her costume and was the cutest flower. She ended up falling out of her stroller and kissing the pavement causing a nice scratch on her nose and a bruise on her forehead. But, she kept on. Hayden is another story. I was so excited to take him since last year he had ran up to every house, knocked, said trick-or-treat and came home with a bucketload. This year, not so much. He HATED his costume, CRIED all the way to his teacher's house and cried all the way back. I was just so mad and already a basketcase emotionally, that I did not accept this well. Lots of yelling, threats and hands flailing were done by me. I realize I could have handled the situation better, but, at the time, I was just exhausted.

(the best I got of the two of them together)

One house was all we went to. I look at the bright side as this: we hardly have any candy that I would end up eating!

This week has gone by in a blur. I was extremely lazy. My mom-in-law, thank the Lord, stayed until Wednesday. I'm still tired, but am moving more. I still find myself zoning out and thinking of my Grandma. I have yet to completely unpack my suitcase, it's still on my bathroom floor wide open with only a few things in it.

This loss is going to take awhile to fade. I have three boxes of her things being shipped as I type. Opening them will be emotional. I'll make sure to have the Kleenex box prepared.

Slow Dance

This was a poem found in my Grandma's home. She had gotten it in a Christmas card at some point and must have thought it meaningful, because she kept it.
It was printed on the back of the funeral program and read during the service. It is now framed and out so I will see it everyday. The author is unknown.

Slow Dance

Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round
or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight
or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down; don't dance so fast
Time is short, the music won't last.

Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask "How are you," do you hear the reply?

When day is done do you lie in bed
with the next hundred chores running through your head?

You better slow down; don't dance so fast
Time is short, the music won't last.

Ever told a child we'll do it tomorrow
and in your haste not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch; let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time to call and say, "Hi?"

You better slow down; don't dance so fast
Time is short, the music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
you miss the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
it is like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life is not a race; do take it slower.
Hear the music before the song is over.

A fond, but sad, farewell.

I shed a lot of tears today, I still am. Mostly tears of sadness, but there were some tears of happiness mixed in.
My Grandma died today. I don't like the term "passed away". Passing is something that continues on, death does not. It's an end to something wonderful and to some, like me, a new beginning. My Grandma died today. It wasn't unexpected but it is sad all the same. She had been hospitalized, moved into an assisted living facility and hospitalized again within the last year and a half. We were so lucky to have her as long as we did. And I know she is amazingly happy right now.
I am sitting here with tears streaming down my cheeks. I have a glass of wine next to me. It was her glass. One of a set of four that my mom had given her for Christmas a few years ago and there wasn't room in her new home for them. I got them. I enjoyed them while she was still here and I will enjoy them more now, knowing that now she is so much happier.
My Grandpa died in March of 1996. That was very hard for her. It was hard for the entire family, but you knew she was suffering because she had lost the love of her life. There was a spark that they shared that I haven't seen from anyone else. They literally lit each other up. My Grandma once told me that she wished Grandpa could have met my husband. She knew they would have really like each other. I believe they would have too.
Since then, I graduated college, got married and had 2 children. All of which she has been a part of. My kids are so lucky to have met her!! Even though I know they won't remember her, I know how much she enjoyed them.
I will miss visiting with her when I go back home to Minnesota. I will miss the card playing, wine drinking and talking.
But with all I will miss, I will also know that she is so incredibly happy right now. She is with the man of her dreams. Playing cards and drinking wine, maybe a few Manhattans thrown in. It must be such a beautiful feeling.

Replenishment

I have my coffee in the morning and use the facilities numerous times because of it. I always leave the door open because guarenteed I will have a visit from at least one.

Today, I heard the pitter patter of little bare feet on the tile approaching. Little Miss Maya came toddling in, with a big smile on her face and my coffee cup held in her hands. She held the cup out to me with a look that said, "Here Mommy, I thought you needed this, so I brought it to you!"

Apparently you must replenish what you have just lost?

She looked so proud of herself!! I took the cup, put it down, scooped her up, Gave her a big hug and a Thank You, and walked out to a little trail of puddles.

Such a sweetheart.

*I must add that the cup was less than half full and not hot at all!! :)

My Name is Maya, and I have an addiction...

Miss Maya had a little growth spurt in her feet. That means... SHOE SHOPPING!! For me yeah!! For the bank account, uh oh. Luckily, with sales on Etsy and Ebay, the paypal account is growing, so online shopping it is!

Last week, I found two pair, for a great price, new, on Ebay; one a more dressy and black, the other sneakerlike and leopard. There, done. I did want to find just one more though. I remembered I had a pair of shoes that I saved from Hayden. I figured they could be either boy or girl, so there's a pair. I tried them on her, figuring we'd put them on to see if they fit and put them away. Nope. She started screaming and kicking her feet when I went to take them off. She then proceeded to just walk around the house, non-stop for about a half hour. I don't know if it was the clunky sound they made as she walked or she just liked the feel, but she didn't want those suckers off!

Well, you can't see them that well, but she was walking so darn fast I couldn't get a clear pic!! Timberlands and a dress. Fabulous!

The next day, in the mail, an old friend sent me a huge box of clothes for her and it included a pair of sneakers. I put those on the chair and Maya saw them. Carried them around for awhile and then decided she needed them on. She sat herself down and held the shoes up making her "Mommy, tend to me now" grunting. Another half hour of walking with those on her feet. Just walking. Picked up a toy here and there to carry around. But mainly just walking.

Friday I had to go to Target. As we were roaming the isles, we wandered to the shoe section. I figured a little look wouldn't hurt. I think we tried on 10 different styles and colors, we had to have tried at least that. As I started to pull off the first one, she whined. Put on another pair and started to take it off, she whined. This happened through the whole trying on/taking off adventure. She didn't get crabby or snotty, but just made a little whine as the shoes were slipped off her feet. And then I tried on a pink pair again, thinking those were the ones, decided to get them and then went for the shoes to take them off to put in the bag (we were using the stroller, not a cart). You'd think I was taking away her favorite toy. Kicked her feet, whined a little harder. I pulled off the tag, let her wear them the rest of the time, she never made another peep.

Vikings win!! Kids don't care!!

You know how you occasionally have "matching" outfits sometimes with two or more kids? And they end up wearing those outfits at the same time because you make them because it's Monday night football and the Vikings are on. So because you have forced them into these outfits (okay, not really outfits, but you get the drift) you have to get a picture of them in the outfits, right?

Not so easy though, is it?!

So that's what I get to put in their books. Chances of Maya wearing that dress again are slim. She's 14 months, the dress is 6-9 months. And why Daddy thought posing by the grill was a good idea, I'll never know.

Things on a DAILY basis...

What is it with little boys and using words when they do not need to be used? Lately my posts have been about my son and not my daughter...Why, you may ask, because she is so stinking cute and you want to hear more? Because my son is driving me CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lately, all that comes out of my son's mouth are these odd words and phrases. And they are for no apparent reason, with complete inappropriateness (is that a word?) and really, why?

Here we go:

butt

poop (not because he just did)

fart (see above)

eyeball (exactly, HUH?!)

poopoo

BLEHHHHH (complete with tongue hanging out)

Phrases include: "Oh my buuuutt." And yes, there is an extension of the letter U. "Oh my eyeball" Not because something is in there either.

And then there's the jumping off EVERYTHING. Running in the house, talking back, getting sent to the corner, often, Saying "What?" waaayyyy to often and just not being a very nice kid. And spitting!! MAN, spitting in any way he can think of. I am sooo incredibly sick of this one. This little thing here is a main reason for the corner chair now.

AND THEN we go to the doctor this past week and she says she is so impressed with how good he is, how polite, how interesting, how calm, how adorable he is. She doesn't have many patients that are as well behaved as him. Did I bring the same kid with me?! Or does she say that to everyone. She said she doesn't...

But, look at that face.

No you're not Mom

Me: making my adorable wipe holders.

Hayden: playing cars on a ramp with the changing table pad.

Me: "Hayden, don't stand on that chair, go get a different one."

Hayden: "No, this one's fine."

Me: "No, go get a different one because that one isn't safe and you can fall."

Hayden: "No, really, this one's fine I didn't fall."

Me: "Well, I said you need to get a different chair and what I say you do because I am Mom."

Hayden: "No, you're not Mom, you're Babe."

Never got a different chair. Didn't fall.

WHAT?!?!? He's 4 already!??

Four years ago....Headed to the hospital at 6:15am. Got the call at 5:30am to come on in to be induced. Prayers were finally answered. Having tried everything possible to get this baby out, it was just going to have to be this way and I was completely fine with that! At 9:13 pm our Hayden James arrived. 8 lbs 4 oz, 21 inches and perfect!

3 weeks

The first year just flew by so dang fast! One minute I was holding him all swaddled up and the next he's zipping around on his little feet. Seriously, SLOW DOWN!

First Birthday

I look at him from time to time and am just amazed that I carried this little baby in my arms and now he's this 'big' little boy who loves Corvettes, Transformers and preschool. He counts, signs the alphabet, remembers the smallest details, swims like a fish, and is in love with his sister.

The last year was a struggle with him. I am hoping he was just "testing the waters" and will start to settle down soon. He is a very sensitive guy but pretty tough when he needs to be.

As I type, he is enthralled in playing with his new Legos he got for his birthday. He is totally fine with Buddy building and himself observing how it's done. These are the little things I love. Playtime with Buddy and his little Buddy. It's quiet and he is playing, perfectly content.

So, now we're off to start his forth year. I cross my fingers tightly that it is the start of a good one!

FOUR YEARS OLD!!