I went home to Minnesota for a week with the kids this Fall for a little vacation. Yes, me, alone, with a 3 year old and newborn on a three hour flight! It actually went pretty smoothly both ways! Knock on wood. It was Hayden's 8th trip on a plane. Anyway, one day while we were there, I realized something about the way Hayden is growing up compared to how I did. I probably rambled a bit from time to time, but I hope I got the gist of my point made. From a Minnesota raised mom, to an Arizona raised son, this is what I wrote.....
As I put my three year old son, Hayden, to bed tonight, I realized how lucky he has been this past year. None of his luck came from any kind of object, however plentiful they were. For starters, he was told he was going to be a big brother. He may not have realized just what that meant, but he seemed excited.
In March, he and I flew up to Minnesota for a spur of the moment visit to see my Grandma (Grandma Ginny to Hayden) in the hospital. Although cold during our stay, we were lucky enough to see a lot of snow fall. So Hayden's fortune was to play in the snow for the first time in his short life. Snowballs were thrown against the house and a tree; a snowman was built just his size. Walking in the snow was an adventure in itself. He hadn't done this before and he loved it!
Although I was so happy he was having so much fun, I couldn't help but be a little sad. I grew up with this stuff, played in it every year. I made dozens of snowmen, threw hundreds of snowballs, went sledding, skiing and built forts. Yes, I even ate it.
My point of babbling is this: we live in Arizona. I do like Arizona, there are lots of worse places we could be. It is hot in the summer, very hot, but the winter balances that out. But, no matter how wonderful many people may think that is, we don't have snow, we have rocks, all year long in our yards. Rocks. Some places in Arizona do have snow, but where we're at, we don't. Does this make Hayden lucky or unlucky? Most kids around here have never experienced snow.
However short or visit to Minnesota this March was, Hayden still remembers and talks about it.
Continuing with the lucky year of Hayden we come to May and the annual trip of my parents' visit to Arizona. Yes, he did see them in March and had a blast, but them coming to see him is so much better. It is all Hayden, all the time. Grandpa never has to leave for the office and Grandma never has to go to the store or music practice. It is playtime fun with Hayden at all times. They go for walks, to the park, play ball in the backyard (we do have grass back there), swing, play cars, trains, puzzles, books...the fun never stops.
Until it does. Grandma and Grandpa have to leave at some point. Hayden gets sad before we even leave for the airport. He knows, he won't get to see them for a while. It is always sad for me. I never drive away from the airport dry eyed. It's hard to get out a thank you for coming and an I love you to them as they unload their suitcases from the car and give hugs goodbye. It's never easy living that far from your family and it doesn't get easier, especially when you have children. You just learn to live without them closeby and make the best of what you have when you do get to visit one another.
When children enter the picture it's hard because I don't have on-call babysitters. I don't have overnights without kids because they are staying with Grandma and Grandpa. I don't have the luxury of dropping off the kids to go shopping alone or to the doctor. Hayden is so lucky to have four terrific grandparents who do spoil him every chance they get and who love him dearly. The great thing about this now is that Hayden remembers things. He knows who they are when he sees them and talks about things they did the last time they saw each other. But the sad thing is that he has to do that. I didn't have to remember the last time I saw my grandparents, because they were always there. So does this make Hayden lucky or unlucky? He has great relationships with his Grandmas and Grandpas, but he doesn't get to see them as much as I would like. On the other hand, some kids don't know their grandparents or maybe only have one.
At the end of July, Hayden got my mom all to himself. He was in Grandma heaven! I was too pregnant to do much of anything, so they went swimming, played outside in 100+ degree weather, went to the park and walked to preschool. He loved his time with Grandma.
When his baby sister was born, he was so proud. Grandma took him for walks around the hospital so he didn't get stir crazy in my tiny hospital room. He told everyone he saw in the hallways he had a new baby sister. Everyone. On one venture out, one of the nurses he had made friends with spotted him and brought him to see the medical helicopter that was parked outside. Through the glass door, he was mesmorized by this monstrous machine. Grandma was with him explaining the parts of the chopper that she knew. After a few minutes of peering throught the glass, the pilot came to the door and invited them out to take a look!
Hayden got to see the inside of the helicopter, checked out the cockpit, the medical equipment and all the gadgets. When they were safely back inside the hospital, they watched the helicopter startup and take off. I am totally serious when I say Hayden has mentioned that helicopter just about every day since. Anybody he sees, he tells them about it. How lucky was he? His dad was so jealous and admits it!
His time with Grandma was so great. For both of them, it was a special bonding time. My mom got to learn more about him because they got to spend so much time alone together. I think that is pretty amazing. I know she will always treasure that time with him because there probably won't be another alone time like that with him. Even if Hayden doesn't remember every detail or day, he has her to remind him and pictures to show him.
I am not omitting Hayden's new sister, Maya, because I don't have anything to write about her; this is just about Hayden and how this year has been a biggy for him. Hayden is in love with his sister. He loves to hold her, kiss her, feed her and just be near her, but he just doesn't fully understand what she's all about yet. So, Hayden's year continues...
Buddy's parents came to visit in September to see there new granddaughter. Hayden was again in grandparent heaven. He brought out the cars, trains, books, puzzles everything. Grandpa got to drive him to and from preschool which was the best ever! Grandpa has a cool truck as Hayden likes to say. He sat in a big boy car seat (booster) for the first time. Wow!
This Fall we signed Hayden up for soccer. Can you picture three and four year olds playing soccer? Funniest thing ever! Grandma and Grandpa got to see his first practice. Pretty special! Not that it was much of a practice, but they were there and that was great. If Grandma and Grandpa weren't up by the time Hayden came downstairs, you can bet they were up within ten minutes. It was still warm enough outside that the pool felt good, so Grandma joined Hayden in the pool many a time.
When it came time, again, for Grandma and Grandpa to leave, Hayden waved to them from the garage. He didn't know where they were going, he knew they were headed to Texas, but what's Texas to a three year old? As the door to the garage closed, he asked when they were coming back. I had to tell him they weren't coming back to our house for awhile. He started to cry. It's heartbreaking that he understands that now. I never like to see my son cry, but when it's because he's sad, I think it makes it worse. It's not from an owie or a bump, it's sadness. So, lucky or unlucky?
Each and every time his grandparents leave, the next few days when he wakes up he asks where they are. Throughout the days, he asks where they are. He stops asking after a few days, but once in awhile out of the blue, he'll ask me, Where's Grandpa? Where's Grandma? I say, "Minnesota".
As you can see by the pictures below, Hayden had his first experience with a "real" Fall. I should say a Minnesota Fall. Arizona just doesn't have an Autumn season. It gets a tad cooler and people start to put the tank tops and shorts away, but it's just not a "real" Fall season. Everything on the trees and bushes is still green and flowering. The grass may be green, brown and green combo, or brown; it depends on when you have decided to reseed with your winter grass. We have winter and summer grass here. And lots and lots of rocks. We don't have the beautiful Autumn colors, it's all pretty and green and colorful with flowers. Yuck. This time of year I want Fall colors, dreery days, falling leaves and the smell. Yes, I do like living where we do.
So, back to my son's first experience with Fall. We took a trip out to the lake so Hayden could see the water and so we could rake up a leaf pile. My mom raked up a nice, big pile. I put Maya in the pile first to get some pictures of her looking all cute in her coat. Then, Hayden came out from playing cars and trucks with Grandpa in the cabin. You could tell he didn't know what to do. He's three years old and didn't know what to do with a pile of leaves. He started to kick at it and thought it was funny when the wind would take the leaves. He would kind of kneel into the pile, but didn't jump. Mom and I had to show him how to jump into the pile and he finally did. He loved it! He would get up and jump back in, get up kick some more and repeat the process. He didn't exactly jump into the leaves like I did as a kid, but he did his own kind of jump and really liked it. I had to wonder if my parents had to show me how to jump into a pile of leaves or if I just knew what to do. So, is he lucky or unlucky?
He gets to brag to his friends that he's gotten to play in the snow and play in a leaf pile all in one year. Most kids around here either have never seen snow or have seen it, but only a few times in a lifetime. In Arizona we don't have those huge maple and oak leaves lying on the ground just waiting to be raked into a pile and jumped in. What we do have is chilly, not cold, Winters, which we can still play outside in and not have snot frozen to our top lips. We have beautiful Springs where you can drive through neighborhoods and smell the orange trees blooming. We have super hot summers where we can jump in our pool in the backyard at any time to cool off and spash around. We don't wear jackets until December if at all and never have to wear snowboots, snowsuits or snowpants. We where shorts, tanks and flip-flops through October and can wear open-toed shoes all year round.
We may not have that Fall/football season "smell" or white Christmas's, but we have our little group of family and friends here that help make it feel more like home every year. I will always miss Autumns, snow, and most of all family and friends. But, I do love it here and I think Hayden is a pretty lucky little boy to have the best of both worlds.
He's lucky.
Know what I mean?
1 comment:
he's a lucky boy!!
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